


No Man Is An Island

by kyewopen



Series: Unrequited Love [1]
Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - No Band, Best Friends, But it's not that sad, Gay Tyler, Josh is the kindest, M/M, Social Anxiety, Unrequited Love, bisexual josh, joshler - Freeform, mention of depression, tyler is in love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-16
Updated: 2017-09-16
Packaged: 2018-12-30 12:18:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,722
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12108552
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kyewopen/pseuds/kyewopen
Summary: Five times Tyler thinks about confessing his feelings for Josh and one times he actually does





	No Man Is An Island

1.

 

You don't know how it happened. It just happened. And god, you wished you could forget about all of this. Cause it feels too nice. And it's terryfying.

You were seating next to him when it happened. It wasn't a special day. The both of you were in his car, driving to your place after a long day in university. You shared an apartment with him in the city center for one year but you didn't realize it until then. You were looking at his hand when it happened. You were looking at his hand and suddenly, you felt this urge need to put your own hand over his. You wanted to touch his hand. You wanted to hold it. But you didn't. You didn't cause it was weird. You were just friends. And just friends don't do that. Just friends can laugh together. Just friends can support each other and be there when the other needs someone. But just friends don't hold hands. That's just the way it is. Or at least that's the way you learnt all your life. So you didn't. You stayed still in this car and you watched him and you just remained silent. Until he said something funny and then you laughed so hard. Him too.

You're in your room now. He's in too. He's reading a book. This book. Reasons to Stay Alive by Matt Haig. You told him about your anxiety and about how you used to be in depression two years ago. And he's a good friend. He has always been a good friend to you and so he asked you a lot of questions about it. To fully understand what is going on in your own mind sometimes. So you lent him this book. Because this book is what saved you in the first place. By reading this book, you felt truly understood, and so you told him that if he wanted to truly understand you, he just needed to read this book.

 

'Tyler? Was it really the way you felt?' He asks. 'Were you feeling like him?'

'Depression can be different for everyone. So I guess I wasn't living it as he did. But there are similarities. I could stay in bed for days and not being able to get up. But there were moments of joy, maybe more than what he says in this book. For me, you can be depressed but still have joy.'

'Are you okay, now?' He asks.

'I'm better.' You answer with a smile.

 

And then he's hugging you. And it feels nice. It feels too nice. And you're wondering if it's okay to feel like this when your best-friend is hugging you. Is it okay to feel that safe in his arms? Is it okay to feel at home when he's holding you? You don't think it is. But you still feel that way and there's nothing you can't do to change that. It's just the way it is.

 

'I'm sorry you felt this way.' He says. He's still holding you. And you're not doing anything to change that. Cause it feels right.

'It's okay. I'm better now, Josh.' You repeat.

'I'm really glad you don't feel that way anymore.'

And that's when you get it.

 

_You're in love with your best-friend._

 

 

2.

 

_I'm in love with my best friend._

That's the only thing you can think about since you realized it. You're in love with your best-friend. And you wished you could forget it. You wished you could just live your life and enjoy this friendship like you used to. Cause now you know you're in love with him, everything is so much harder. You don't know how to act around him anymore and you're constantly wondering if it's not too much, if you're allowed to do that as a friend. But you can't help it.

And you're scared he will notice that you're a bit more tactile than usual. Maybe he already did. He probably already did, you think. Of course you thought about telling him what's in your mind because you know he will probably never judge you but you just can't take the first step. Cause this anxiety won't leave you alone. You used to feel relaxed around him. You have social anxiety but this one seemed to disappear around him. But now, it's coming back at full-speed. And you don't know what to do about it.

That's why you're with your friend Mark. You asked him to join you in a cafe because he has always been able to give you some advice. And you really need some today.

 

'So? What's happening? What is this emergency meeting for?' Mark asks.

'Mark I think I'm in love with Josh.' You say.

'Okay' He answers without the slightest surprise in his voice.

'Okay?'

'Well, I kind of suspected it.' He explains and you're looking at him with wide eyes.

'But... How come? I... I just found out.' You say, confused.

'Tyler, you're always talking about him to me. And the way you speak about him? Trust me, you can't miss it.' Mark says.

'Do you think he knows too?' You ask.

'I don't know, Tyler. But you should tell him anyway.'

'I can't, what if he gets mad? I don't want to ruin what we have.' You say. You will never forgive yourself if he tells you that he wants to keep a distance between you two. You will never forgive yourself and you don't even want to take the risk. Cause you know he probably doesn't feel the same way and you prefer living your life without him knowing about your feelings rather than telling him you're in love with him and risking to loose your best-friend over this.

'Tyler, he loves you. He does. Maybe not as much as you do but trust me, he does love you. A lot. He'll never tell you to go away.'

'You're sure of this?' You ask. Because a part of you obviously wants to tell him because maybe there is the slightest chance that he loves you back.

'I am. Trust me. Josh is a good guy, Tyler. He won't ever make you feel guilty about something you have no control over.'

'What if he doesn't love me back?' You ask. And you don't know why you asked him this question. Because you don't want to know the answer. You don't want to know about what would happen next.

'Then it will hurt. Probably a lot. But you'll get over this, Tyler. Eventually.' Mark says. And you want to listen to him. Because he's always right. But it's terrifying.

'Why did I have to fall in love with my best-friend?' You ask.

 

And Mark doesn't answer. Cause that's just the way it is. You don't have a say in it.

When you come back at your flat a few hours later, you're greeted by the smell of pizzas and popcorn. And as if your feelings for Josh weren't enough for you to handle, this one is coming out shirtless of the bathroom with vibrant blue hair and maybe you're a little more in love than you were five minutes ago. Because he's smiling and he's squinting his eyes and he's so so beautiful.

 

'Oh my god, I love your hair.' You say.

'Thanks dude. I thought it was the right time to do a pizza movie night because you seem stressed about university.'

 

And if you didn't have to pretend to be his friend, you would probably kiss him right now. But you can't. So you just smile at him and thank him. Because he has always been so caring and you don't know what you did to deserve someone like him.

 

'How was it? With Mark?' Josh asks.

'Great. We just talked about uni and his job... Nothing much. It was cool to see him again, though. How was your day?' You ask.

'Went to see my parents. They asked about you. And then I ordered some pizzas and here we are, about to watch the x-files!'

'I suppose I don't really have a word to say in it?' You ask, a small smile on your face.

'You're correct.' Josh says, smiling broadly at you.

 

It should be illegal to look so good with blue hair, you think. And for a second you think about telling him that you're in love with him but then he's playing the first episode and you feel like you don't have the right to ruin a peaceful moment like this one.

 

 

3.

 

He's away for the week-end. And you find yourself alone in this apartment. A part of you is glad he decided to go and see Dustin in Cleveland. Because it started to get harder and harder to pretend. There were moments when you just wanted to tell him everything. You never thought it would be this hard. You've been in love before and you were always the best to hide your feelings and pretend like nothing is bothering you. And you thought you could do that once again, with Josh. But this time, you've never been more in love before. And it's your best-friend. You can't pretend like you used to. You can't because you see him every single day and you feel like you're lying to him. And this is the last thing you want.

You're lying on your bed right now and you're staring at the ceiling. And Josh is always laughing when he opens your door and finds you looking intensely at your ceiling. You don't like it, the ceiling and the walls in your room. It makes you anxious, nearly scared. Because it reminds you of hospitals. You hate hospitals. It's all too white and the odor makes you sick. You remember one day you broke your ankle playing basketball and Josh wanted to take you to the hospital. And you didn't want to go, you were crying out in pain and you couldn't walk but you just didn't want to go to the hospital. You did go, eventually. Josh didn't let you the choice. You thought you would be more anxious than that but he was with you, and his presence was always reassuring in a way.

You're lost in your own thoughts and you can hear your phone vibrating next to you. It's your dad calling. But right now, you don't think you can talk to him. There are days when you don't want to talk to anybody. There are days when you just can't talk. And it's one of those days. So you're just getting up of your bed and you're walking to Josh's room. You always liked his room, full of posters about bands, movies, space and the x-files. You're lying on his bed and you're watching the ceiling again. But this ceiling isn't as scary as the one in your room. Josh stuck these phosphorescent stars and it makes you feel safe.

Your phone is vibrating once again. This time, you're taking it and it's a text from Josh. He's asking you if you're okay. You know he noticed that something is wrong. You know he's worried about you. But you just don't answer. What could you say?

You're covering yourself with his duvet and the pillow smells like him. You like it in here, because it's like he was lying next to you, whispering you sweet things into your ear. And so you just close your eyes. And you never fell asleep as fast as tonight.

 

'Hey Ty' He says. At first you think you're still dreaming but then you feel his hand touching your shoulder, gently.

You open your eyes, slowly and then you see him, seating on your bed and smiling at you. You can see he's concerned but you don't say anything and you're just smiling back at him. It's only when you look around that you remember you didn't sleep in your bed tonight.

'You're okay in there, Ty-guy?' He asks.

'Yeah, I'm just... Still tired.' You answer.

'Why did you sleep in my bed?' He asks and you try your best not to blush and you just tell him the first thing that comes to your mind.

'There was this mosquito in my room. I couldn't sleep, it was bothering me. Figured out you wouldn't be mad if I was using your bed.'

There are not a lot of mosquitoes at this time of the year but Josh doesn't seem to mind your answer. He's just getting up and putting his bag next to his bed. He looks at you for a few seconds and you know he's thinking of saying something but he doesn't and he just smiles instead.

 

'Wanna sleep a little more?'

'You mind?' You ask.

'Not at all, you can stay here, I'll be in the kitchen. I need to finish this essay.' He says.

 

You're about to close your eyes but then he's calling you once again and you look up to him. You can see he's confused and concerned about you.

 

'You would tell me if anything was bothering you, right?'

 

And for a moment, you're thinking about telling him. You remember what Mark told you during this lunch but you're exhausted and still not feeling like talking.

'Of course I would.' You say, smiling but you can see he's not taking it. But instead of pushing you to tell him what's wrong, he's just smiling at you and turning off the light to let you sleep. He's always been like this. Too caring. Not just with you. With everyone.

 

And this time, you're not falling asleep easily like the night before.

 

This time, you're crying yourself to sleep, hoping that your friend isn't hearing you.

 

 

4.

 

Loving Josh hurts. But pretending that you don't love him hurts way more. It's exhausting and it's taking all of your energy. You're with him every hour of the day, in university but also in this flat. You wish you could get away from here, but you can't. You tried. You tried to put some distance between the two of you but it hurts. It's hurting you. And you can deal with that. But it hurts _him_. And this, you can't.

You're in class right now. You're trying so hard to listen to what this teacher is saying about William Butler Yeats but you just can't focus on anything more than five minutes. And you love this poet. You do love his writing. And you're usually always so serious in this class, taking notes and everything. Josh is next to you and is elbowing you when he realizes you're not focused and that you didn't hear the question the teacher just asked you.

You think he's doing it on purpose. Because he knows you love his class and now you're just lost, and you're not listening to him. You're blushing when you realize everybody is watching you and then Josh is whispering to your ear.

 

'You have to read this poem.'

 

And so you're reading it. But while you're reading it, you realize it's about unrequited love. At first, you're smiling nervously because you're wondering why of all the people in this class, you had to be the one to read this poem. And then you're starting to get sad. Because it makes you think about him. Again. It's like everything around you makes you think of him. You're seeing him everywhere. And god you must sound so cheesy and you probably would have laughed if someone had told you one year before that you would end up being so cheesy when it came to someone. But that's just the way it is. And it sucks. But you can't do anything about it.

It's only when you stop reading this poem that you realize you're nearly crying. Nobody noticed it, though. Or at least, it doesn't seem like it. Except for Josh, probably. Because Josh is always noticing everything when it comes to you.

 

'Fuck you're so out of it, man!' Brendon says and then a few friends of yours are laughing. Except for Josh who leans over and talks to you.

'Are you okay? Do you want to get out of this class?' He asks.

You're not okay. But the thing is, you don't even know why anymore. Is it because of your feelings for Josh? Or is it because of something bigger? Is your depression coming back? These feelings for Josh made you feel so low but then you feel like it brought back all the things you used to fight. You don't know anything anymore.

'I'm okay.' You say. Cause you can't really tell him you're in love with him in the middle of this classroom, right?

 

When you're about to leave this classroom with Josh, this teacher is calling you and you're waving at Josh, making him understand that he can go and start going back home on his own.

 

'Tyler, I just wanted to make sure that everything was okay for you? You don't seem very focused lately.'

'I'm sorry sir. I just have a lot on my mind lately.' You say. And you're not lying.

'That's okay Tyler. Just know you can always talk to me if you feel like it. Or anyone in this university really.' He says. And you thank him. He's always been nice to you.

'I know. Thank you. I think I just need to get some rest.'

'Well, it's a good thing that vacation are on their way, then.' He says. And you smile, and nod.

The holidays start tomorrow. And you'll be away from Josh during one week. Maybe it can do you some good, you think. Just to clear your mind and think about something else.

 

You'll see about that.

 

 

5.

 

You're at home now. Your parents house. You're in your room. The room where you spent most of your childhood. This room where you experienced depression. You can remember it, the numerous nights you spent crying yourself to sleep, the countless hours you spent looking at these razor blades, wondering if it was a good idea to take your own life away.

You're glad you didn't, now, when you think about it. Because you wouldn't have seen Death Cab For Cutie live if you did. You wouldn't have met these friends in university. You wouldn't have written these songs if you did. But most importantly, you wouldn't have met Josh. You wouldn't have spoken to him during this whole night, talking about your dreams, your aspirations and your biggest fears. You wouldn't have shared an apartment with him and you wouldn't have spent these endless nights in front of the x-files.

But you wouldn't have fallen in love with him. And this is a thing you would have been glad to avoid.

And you're lying on your bed and you're wondering why you're ashamed of being in love. You're wondering why everybody is so afraid of confessing their deepest feelings. Why does it have to be like this? Wouldn't it be better if every one could just stop pretending? Wouldn't it be better if everyone could tell each other that they're in love with each other? Why does it always have to be a big deal? You shouldn't be ashamed of what you're feeling. You shouldn't be hiding that and be scared of his reaction. Because that's just how it is. You're in love with him. That's just it.

You're smiling now, cause he would have laughed so hard if you were telling him what you're thinking of right now. He has always been amused of your way of thinking. But he loves to listen to you, ranting or asking yourself weird questions.

 

 _'How are you doing?'_ He's texting you again. You didn't answer the first time so you think maybe it's time to do it now.

_'I'm okay. Just working and getting some rest, you know. You?'_

_'I'm already back to the apartment, it's so empty and so quiet without you, it's weird.'_

 

Being away from him is doing you some good, you're sure of that. You're thinking of him, but less than you used to a couple of weeks ago. So maybe that's the only thing you needed in the end? Being away from him for a week? Maybe these feelings will just disappear like this?

But then you're back in your apartment and you see him getting out of the shower, shirtless, with his blue hair and his gauges and _this smile_. And you know you've been wrong.

 

You're screwed.

 

+1

 

It's late at night. You're seating on your bed, listening to music with your headphones while he's trying to finish this essay due the week after. He's working on your desk. He likes working in your room, you don't really know why, probably because his desk is a mess and you can't see the wood because there are so many stuff on it. Yours is tidy. You don't like it when it's messy, it makes you feel anxious. He's looking at you sometimes, and you know he's going to start and ask you some questions. Because you've been so quiet during the whole day, even when Mark came over to visit the both of you. Mark is your friend originally, but this time, Josh had to do the talking. Mark knew why you were acting weird, that's why he didn't tell you anything. But now you think Josh is even more confused.

It's nearly midnight and so you're turning off your iPod and you're laying down on your bed, covering yourself with your blanket. You can hear him sigh and you're sure he's looking at you right now, and just as you expected it, he's the one to talk first.

 

'Are you okay?' He asks

'Not really.' You don't lie, this time. You're tired of lying to him.

'What's happening, Tyler? You want to talk about it?' He asks, getting up to sit on your bed while you're still laying down, looking at the ceiling.

'I can't.' You say.

'Why can't you?'

'Because you can't help me this time, Josh.' You say and your voice breaks a little at the end.

 

He doesn't say anything for a while. He remains silent and it's not the kind of peaceful and relaxed silence that you're used to share with him. This one is heavy and scary. But then you're looking at him for a second and he's talking to you again.

 

'Maybe I can't.' He says. 'But I can support you. You still can talk to me about it even if I can't help, Tyler.'

'I can't.' You repeat. 'I'm sorry.' And then you're covering your face with the pillow and you cry. Because you're so scared. And your heart is beating so fast against your chest you feel like your whole body is shaking. Because you know he didn't leave. You know he's still here, next to you, you can feel him. And you're terrified and you're wondering whether you should tell him or remain silent and then you don't know what's pushing you but you're saying these words.

'If I'm telling you, I'm scared you'll want to stop being friends.' You say and then he's slowly taking this pillow so he can look at you in the eyes.

'Tyler, there's nothing you can say that could possibly make me want to stop this friendship.'

 

And you're looking at him and his eyes are just full of concern, of respect and _trust_. He doesn't blink. He's looking right at you and he doesn't even blink for a second. Because he wants you to understand that he's not lying. That he's not going to leave you. That you can trust him. And you do. Trust him.

 

'I think I'm in love with you.'

 

There's no going back now, you said it. And then you're hiding your face in the blanket because you just can't look at him.

 

'I'm sorry.' You say. 'Oh god, I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have said that.' You say and you can already feel some tears rolling down your cheeks.

'Tyler, don't be sorry. You have nothing to be sorry for.' He says. 'It's okay.' He adds and he's placing his hand on your shoulder. 'I suspected it.'

'You did?' You say with a broken voice, still hiding your face in this blanket.

'Only for the past few days.' He says.

'I'm so sorry.' You say again. 'I'm so sorry. I know you don't feel the same way about me and it's okay, I'll just... I'll get over it.'

 

But then you burst into tears. You don't really know why. You just do.

 

'No Tyler, please don't cry.' He says, and his voice is just as broken as yours. He's crying too. 'I'm sorry I can't reciprocate your feelings.' He says.

And then you can feel it. The rejection. And it hurts.

'But I do love you, Tyler. I do. I love you so, _so_ much.' He adds. 'Just not like that.'

And then you just can't take it anymore and you're taking his hand in yours and you're crying on his lap.

'I'm sorry.' You repeat a second time. 'I wish I wasn't feeling like this.'

'Don't be.' He says. 'You can't control this.' He adds. 'But Tyler, I won't ever leave you.' And he's crying so hard too and it only makes you want to cry more. 'You're my best friend. And please, if there is anything I can do to help, tell me. If you want me to stay away from you for a while or-'

'Please don't.' You say, not letting him finish his sentence. 'Don't. I need you.' You add.

'I won't.' And one of his hand is stroking your hair, gently.

'Can you lie down next to me?' You ask and he's only nodding and joining you under this blanket.

 

You're burying your face into his neck and he's holding you in his arms, kissing you gently on the forehead.

 

'Can you kiss me?' You're asking because his lips are right next to yours and you only want to see what it's like. To feel his lips against yours.

'Tyler... I don't think it's a good idea.' He says.

'Please. Only this one time. Please.'

 

You can see that he's not sure. That he doesn't know what to do for a moment. But then you can see his lips moving forward and you don't realize what's happening that he has already kissed you, for a few seconds. But he can see you need more because his lips are touching yours once again, but this time, you can feel it. And then, his tongue is asking a way into your mouth and you just can't refuse and you can feel your heart beating in your whole body. He's kissing you and you're kissing him and you never thought that something could feel as right as what's happening right now. You've always been afraid of being gay. But with him, it feels right. With him, you're not afraid anymore.

_But he doesn't love you back the way you do._

And so you're crying some more and that's when he knows it's too much for you and so he stops kissing you and he's holding you so tight against himself, whispering in your ear that everything is going to be okay.

 

And you believe him.

 

 

_One year and a half later_

 

You're climbing the stairs that will drive you to your apartment. You just spent the whole day in university and you're so tired that you think you might fall asleep at any moment. And of course you had to live on the fifth floor of this building without elevators. You had basket-ball training until late this evening and you're thinking of telling your dad that you don't really like this sport as much as you used to. You're more into music now, you always have been but this time, you wish you could find a job as a musician or maybe become a singer or something.

You're opening the door and you see him seating on the couch, watching a series with his headphones on and he still hasn't noticed you're home. You're letting go of your bag in the corridor and that's when he's hearing you. He stops the episode and he gets up with a huge smile on his face and you think you're falling in love all over again.

 

'How are you doing, sweetheart?' He asks before kissing you gently and you can't stop smiling.

'I'm good. Tired.'

 

He still has his both hands behind your neck and you're watching him, you're watching his dark hair and his small beard and his green eyes and his gauges and then you're just hugging him tight and burying your face into his neck.

 

'What is it for?' He asks, laughing.

'I don't know. I just love you a lot.' You say and then he's smiling and kissing you again.

'You're so cheesy.' He says and you're smiling

'Shut up, you love me.' You say.

'I do.' And then you're smiling even more. 'Now come on, eat, I made diner, you must be hungry.'

 

He tells you to sit on the couch and he comes back with a plate full of pasta and there is no way you'll be able to finish all of it even though you feel like you didn't eat for a week. He's taking a seat next to you and places his arm around your shoulders, tracing small patterns onto your chest.

 

'Josh wanted to come over with his girlfriend tomorrow, you mind?' You ask. You told Matt you used to be in love with your best-friend a while ago and he never seemed to be bothered by this, they even seemed to get along very well.

'Course I don't.'

 

Your eyes fall on the screen and you're smiling when he realizes that he's watching sense8. You couldn't shut up about this series as soon as you met him in this university and when he asked you out for the first time, you ended sitting on this couch, watching the first season until 4am. It's been six months now that you're together and he spends all his time in your apartment. He didn't have time to watch the second season because he couldn't handle the pressure of the university very well and he started to get very anxious. And you knew too well what it's like so you tried to be there for him as much as you could and now that the exams of the first semester were over, he was feeling much better. And so you're playing the episode because you really don't mind watching it a second time and you're kissing him on the cheek.

 

'You're gross.' He tells you while taking a napkin to remove the sauce of the pasta on his cheek.

 

And then you burst out laughing and you don't really know why but he's shaking his head, trying to seem bored with your weirdness but he's still watching you with this small smile on his face.

 

'You're sleeping here, right?' You ask, just to be sure, and he only nods. 'You know you could just move in.' You say, casually and he's looking up to you with a huge smile on his face and wide eyes.

'Really?' He asks, hopeful.

'Matt, why do you get so excited? You're basically living here already.' You say.

'I was waiting for you to officially ask me to move in and since you weren't, I felt bad for spending all my time in here. Thought I was bothering you or you needed some space.' And then you're smiling because you don't even understand how he could think for a second that he was bothering you.

'You're not.' You say, almost immediately. 'I don't like being alone that much.'

 

You decided to take your own apartment soon after you told Josh you were in love with him. Because even though you're still best-friends, it was hard to try and forget him while you were seeing him every day. And he let you go because he wanted the best for you and for a few weeks, you tried and put some distance between you and him to get over him completely. It didn't last long, though because you quickly understood that despite being in love with him, you missed your best-friend and now you were back to seeing each other everyday. But now, you have Matt, and you love him just as much as you used to love Josh. Maybe a little more. And you can't wait for him to officially move in with you. And you're starting to think of coming out to your parents because you really want them to meet him. After all, you already met his parents a while ago and you just want to do the same, to make him understand that he's just as important for you as you are for him. You know he asked himself a lot of questions about it but even though you were a little hesitant at first because you weren't completely over Josh, you now can see yourself with him in the long term.

 

'What are you thinking about?' He asks.

'I want you to meet my parents.' You say, looking up to him.

'Okay first you're asking me to move in and now your parents. What's happening?' He says, confused but smiling.

'Nothing's wrong. We're in a relationship for six months and I think they already know that I'm dating someone, so let's just tell them?'

'Okay but just let me a week so I can be mentally and physically ready.'

'Come on, they'll love you.' You say, kissing him another time.

 

And before you can do anything else, he's already placing his two hands behind your neck and he's kissing you again, deeply. He's taking this plate and places it on the table so he can take your shirt off, and you do the same to him. You're lying on the couch now and as he presses small kisses all over your chest and on the scars on your arms, you know that Josh was right.

 

_Everything is going to be okay._

 

**Author's Note:**

> See? Not that sad. Tyler is still very happy with this Matt guy. 
> 
> By the way, if anyone of you is struggling with depression/anxiety, go and read Matt Haig's book 'Reasons to Stay Alive', this guy/book is amazing and inspiring.


End file.
